As I reach the end of this exploration, I find myself drawn to a hopeful vision of what may lie beyond our physical existence. While the nature of consciousness after death cannot be known with certainty, my own perspective, shaped by the ideas and models in this book, leads me to believe that the afterlife will be profoundly positive. It is a realm of continuity, awareness, and memory - an expansive experience - one in which the essence of self endures, expands, and perhaps discovers dimensions of reality we can scarcely imagine. This is not a promise or guarantee, but a reasoned hope, grounded in the philosophical and theoretical framework I have presented. Ultimately, the journey beyond may be very, very good, and it is my hope that these ideas inspire reflection, curiosity, and a sense of wonder in every reader.
Why would someone who is near death not want to come back? Could it be that afterlife is very, very good?
The feeling of not wanting to come back during a near-death experience (NDE) is often described as an overwhelming sense of peace, love, and belonging. Many people who have had NDEs report feeling like they have found a place of ultimate comfort, connection, and pure consciousness. They feel as though the weight of life's struggles and fears simply dissolves.
People often say it feels like home - like they're surrounded by an unconditional love that surpasses anything they've felt on Earth. There is no pain, no judgment, just pure acceptance and an intense sense of unity with everything around them. For many, it feels like liberation from the limitations of the physical body. They feel as though they've transcended into a state of pure awareness or consciousness.
Because of these feelings, coming back to life can feel like a forced return to something less serene. Some people describe a reluctance to return, almost like they're being pulled back into a chaotic or painful existence, which can make them feel bittersweet about leaving the peace they experienced. This experience often changes people's perspectives on life and death, leading to shifts in values, priorities, or spirituality. This reluctance to come back to life raises deep questions about the nature of consciousness and human existence.
Despite the deep reluctance many individuals feel during an NDE, most return because they are told they have more to accomplish, because of their love for those they left behind, or simply because their return is not within their control. Those who do return often describe their NDE as a life-changing event, shifting their priorities, beliefs, and perspectives on death. Many lose their fear of dying and develop a renewed sense of purpose, valuing love, kindness, and the present moment more than ever.
The reluctance to return during an NDE is not necessarily a rejection of life but rather an embrace of something beyond human understanding - something so beautiful, peaceful, and freeing that it defies words. These NDE experiences invite us to reconsider what truly matters in life.
Near-death experiences (NDEs) have been widely documented across different cultures and belief systems, often sharing common themes such as encounters with a bright light, a sense of peace, and an overwhelming feeling of love. Many individuals who experience NDEs describe reaching a state so profoundly beautiful and fulfilling that they do not want to return to their physical bodies. This reluctance to come back to life raises deep existential and spiritual questions about the nature of consciousness, the afterlife, and human existence. Here are some common reasons why people may not want to return from an NDE. These first-hand accounts are the most accurate facts we have to learn what people were "feeling" when they were close to death.
1. Overwhelming Sense of Peace and Love
One of the most frequently reported aspects of NDEs is the feeling of indescribable peace and unconditional love. Many people describe a sensation of being enveloped in a warmth that surpasses any human experience.[1] This state is often described as pure bliss, free from pain, fear, or suffering. In contrast, life on Earth is filled with challenges, struggles, and uncertainty. Faced with the choice to return to a world of suffering or remain in a state of unconditional peace, it is understandable why many would prefer to stay.
2. Freedom from Physical Pain and Suffering
Many people who undergo NDEs are suffering from severe illness, trauma, or injury at the time of their experience. When they momentarily leave their physical bodies, they often report feeling completely free from pain.[2] This liberation can be so profound that the thought of returning to a body that is fragile, sick, or broken becomes deeply undesirable. The contrast between an existence unburdened by pain and the struggles of the physical world can make the choice to return feel like an unwanted obligation.
3. A Profound Sense of Homecoming
A common theme among NDE accounts is the feeling of returning "home" - a place that feels more real and familiar than life on Earth.[3] Some describe this as a realm of pure consciousness, while others interpret it through the lens of their religious or spiritual beliefs, such as heaven or the afterlife. The sense of belonging in this state often leads people to feel as if they have reconnected with their true essence. If this existence feels more natural and welcoming than their earthly life, the idea of returning to the physical world may feel unnecessary or even unappealing.
4. Reunion with Deceased Loved Ones
Many individuals who have had an NDE report encountering deceased relatives, friends, or spiritual beings. These encounters often feel deeply personal and comforting, with the presence of loved ones reinforcing the idea that they are in a place of eternal connection.[4] Seeing deceased loved ones in a joyful state can create a powerful emotional pull, making it difficult to leave. Some individuals even report that their loved ones communicate that it is "not their time" and gently encourage them to return, which can be a moment of emotional conflict.
5. Experiencing a Higher Consciousness or Universal Knowledge
Some NDE survivors report encountering a state of heightened awareness or access to a universal knowledge that transcends human understanding.[5] They describe seeing the interconnectedness of all things, gaining insights into their life's purpose, or experiencing a profound sense of unity with the universe. In contrast to the limitations of the human mind and the fragmented nature of daily existence, this boundless awareness can be deeply compelling. The idea of returning to a more restricted form of consciousness may feel like a loss of wisdom or connection.
6. Detachment from Earthly Concerns
While life is filled with responsibilities, worries, and attachments, many NDE accounts describe a complete detachment from worldly concerns.[6] The stresses of financial struggles, social pressures, and even personal relationships seem insignificant in the face of the deep peace they experience. This detachment can lead people to feel that returning to their former lives means re-entering a world of struggle, distractions, and suffering, which they no longer see as necessary or meaningful.
7. Perception of Time as an Illusion
Many people who have NDEs report that time does not exist in the same way as it does on Earth.[7] In this altered state, they often feel as though they have existed in that space for an eternity, even if their NDE lasted only a few minutes in real-time. This perception of timelessness can contribute to the reluctance to return, as individuals feel they have already transcended the human experience and do not need to re-enter the constraints of linear time.
8. A Feeling of Completion or Fulfillment
Some people who experience NDEs report feeling as though their journey is complete, even if they have unfinished business in the physical world.[8] They may have a sense that their true purpose has already been fulfilled, or they may feel an overwhelming sense of acceptance regarding their life. This feeling of wholeness and contentment can lead to resistance to returning, as they do not see a compelling reason to continue their earthly existence.
Conclusion: A Transformative Return from NDE
Despite the deep reluctance many individuals feel during an NDE, most return because they are told they have more to accomplish, because of their love for those they left behind, or simply because their return is not within their control. Those who do return often describe their NDE as a life-changing event, shifting their priorities, beliefs, and perspectives on death.[9] Many lose their fear of dying and develop a renewed sense of purpose, valuing love, kindness, and the present moment more than ever.
The reluctance to return during an NDE is not a rejection of life. On the contrary, it is an embrace of something beyond human understanding - something so beautiful, peaceful, and freeing that it defies words. These NDE experiences challenge our perception of reality. They open our eyes to how beautiful afterlife will be. The creation of an afterlife is what truly matters in life. Those who have seen NDE and chosen to return to talk about it, tell us how wonderful it will be.
Eddie the Painter: Entertainer, Singer, and Life of the Party
I recently lost a close friend. There was no one that I've known longer or closer. He brought me much joy over the years. It wasn't just me. Eddie spread joy and happiness everywhere he went. He had hundreds, if not thousands of friends. Everyone liked and felt close to Eddie. He was everyone's friend.
Eddie placed a high value on friendship, happiness, and having a good time. He wasn't motivated by money particularly. If it was a choice between making money or having a good time, the good time won out every time. And who's to say he was wrong? Eddie gathered thousands of wonderful memories over the years.
Eddie was the funniest individual I have ever known. In high school, he was the fastest runner and swimmer in the city. He was voted best dancer and best singer. Eddie acted in plays and sang in talent shows. He was the life of the party, time and time again. He made everyone laugh, sing, and have a good time. He was the most popular kid in high school. Everyone liked Eddie.
Eddie was a success at providing happiness. He elevated happiness in every group he was in. When Eddie was around, it was always fun. Late in life, he ran into difficulty with his health. One by one the things he loved most were taken away. First, cancer took away his taste and he loved food. Then it took away his ability to sing. Finally, it made it hard for him to talk.
No matter how bad things got, he was stoic and never lost his sense of humor. Up until the end, he was still joking - through text messages - because that was all he had left. Finally, after a major operation that failed to stop the cancer, Eddie closed his eyes for the last time.
Do you know what I think happened next?
He opened them again and found himself among his thousands of friends. All the parties he had elevated into a great time for all, came to him at once. There was nothing Eddie liked more than laughing amongst friends. Rather than merely experiencing love, joy, and fun from one party, he was experiencing love from them all. If you take the happiness level that Eddie experienced from a single party and multiply it by one thousand times, you get some idea of what his afterlife will be like.
When the mind expands in time and space, you gain the ability to be everywhere at the same time. Being everywhere at once gives Eddie the ability to be in all the parties he enjoyed over a lifetime at the same time. It gives him the ability for this happiness level to skyrocket. We cannot begin to comprehend the happiness felt. The happiness of this magnitude is beyond the human experience.
A lot of people thought Eddie's importance placed on having a good time was crazy. Yea, crazy like a fox! He just quietly went about collecting all his memories over 70 years. He routinely eschewed the trappings of a corporate job and opted instead to be happy and funny at gatherings with close friends. It was as if he knew ahead of time that his concept of life was better. He gathered up all these great moments. Then, in the end, all these happy moments came to him at once. Eddie is having fun, feeling closeness, and camaraderie with all his numerous friends. He is enjoying permanent happiness at a super high level, hard-earned over a life well lived. Afterlife is the reward we all long for. Afterlife will be better than anything we can imagine. Just like Eddie, it is the fulfillment of everything we want and need, only thousands of times better than anything we could have imagined.
[1]: Moody, Life After Life, 23-27.
[2]: Greyson, After, 57-60.
[3]: Alexander, Proof of Heaven, 81-85.
[4]: Ring, Heading Toward Omega, 92-95.
[5]: van Lommel, Consciousness Beyond Life, 134-138.
[6]: Moody, Life After Life, 45-50.
[7]: Greyson, After, 140-145.
[8]: Ring, Heading Toward Omega, 102-107.
[9]: Alexander, Proof of Heaven, 200-205.
• Alexander, Eben. Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2012.
• Greyson, Bruce. After: A Doctor Explores What Near-Death Experiences Reveal about Life and Beyond. New York: St. Martin's Essentials, 2021.
• Isaacson, Walter. Steve Jobs. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011.
• Kellehear, Allan. Experiences Near Death: Beyond Medicine and Religion. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2020.
• Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Death and Dying. New York: Scribner, 1969.
• Moody, Raymond A. Life After Life: The Investigation of a Phenomenon - Survival of Bodily Death. New York: HarperOne, 1975.
• Ring, Kenneth. Heading Toward Omega: In Search of the Meaning of Near-Death Experience. New York: William Morrow, 1984.
• van Lommel, Pim. Consciousness Beyond Life: The Science of the Near-Death Experience. New York: HarperOne, 2010.